Carlton Mellick III

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About Carlton Mellick III
Carlton Mellick III is the Wonderland Book Award-winning author of over 45 novels, including Quicksand House, Bio Melt, Cuddly Holocaust and Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, among others. In 2013, he was named one of the top 20 science-fiction writers under the age of 40 by The Guardian UK.
His work has appeared in The Year’s Best Fantasy and Horror, The Best Bizarro Fiction of the Decade, and Vice Magazine, and has been translated into Italian, German, Russian, Spanish, Polish, French and Japanese.
He lives in Portland, Oregon, where he obsesses over comic books, micro-brews, video games, and K-pop dance routines. Visit him online at carltonmellick.com
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Books By Carlton Mellick III
Like a real world Kilgore Trout, cult author Carlton Mellick III has been pumping out dozens of the weirdest, trashiest, most imaginative books you've probably never heard of... even though you definitely should. Hammer Wives collects six of his most popular novelettes and short stories, including:
SIMPLE MACHINES
A man discovers that his body is actually a machine run by dozens of miniature clones of himself.
RED WORLD
A recovering junky must save his 8-year-old brother from a life of prostitution in a surreal version of New York City... a place where street kids mutate into fish-like creatures, the homeless stilt-walk through oceans of insects, and the only colors left visible to the human eye are shades of red.
HAMMER WIVES
A young man inherits ten eternally youthful wives from an estranged uncle he never knew he had... which wouldn't have been such a bad thing if they didn't have giant hammers for heads or a tendency of bludgeoning people to death for fun, food, or sexual pleasure.
LEMON KNIVES 'N' COCKROACHES
Cockroach-like children survive the zombie apocalypse by hiding between the walls of on old school building.
WAR PIG
In a steam-powered underworld, a bloodthirsty pig-man boxer will sacrifice everything to prevent his son from following in his footsteps.
THE MAN WITH THE STYROFOAM BRAIN
The recently departed reflect on the stupid reasons why they sold their souls to the devil.
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Jonathan Vandervoo lives a carefree life in a house made of legos, spending his days building lego sculptures and his nights getting drunk with his only friend--an alcoholic sumo wrestler named Shoji. It's a pleasant life with no responsibility, until the day he meets Lici. She's a soul-sucking demon from hell with red skin, glowing eyes, a forked tongue, and pointy red devil horns... and she claims to be nine months pregnant with Jonathan's baby.
Now Jonathan must do the right thing and marry the succubus or else her demonic family is going to rip his heart out through his ribcage and force him to endure the worst torture hell has to offer for the rest of eternity. But can Jonathan really love a fire-breathing, frog-eating, cold-blooded demoness? Or would eternal damnation be preferable? Either way, the big day is approaching. And once Jonathan's conservative Christian family learns their son is about to marry a spawn of Satan, it's going to be all-out war between demons and humans, with Jonathan and his hell-born bride caught in the middle.
I Knocked Up Satan's Daughter is an adorable, violent, fantastical love story. A romantic comedy for the bizarro fiction reader.
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Ja, es gibt sie wirklich: Meerjungfrauen!
Diese rätselhaften Fischwesen sind äußerst attraktiv, allerdings haben sie eine sehr einseitige Ernährung: frisches Menschenfleisch.
Das kleine Inseldorf Siren Cove ist in Gefahr, denn die dort lebenden Meerjungfrauen machen Jagd auf die Einwohner, anstatt die extra bereitgestellten Futterangebote anzunehmen.
Dr. Black, exzentrischer Mitarbeiter eines Konzerns für menschliches Ersatzfleisch, hat die Aufgabe, das bedrohliche Fressverhalten der Meeresbewohner zu korrigieren – mit katastrophalen Folgen …
Insel der Meerjungfrauen ist wie eine Kreuzung von H. P. Lovecraft und David Lynch – nur viel, viel abgedrehter!
Hunter Shea: »Carlton Mellicks Bücher sind gewöhnungsbedürftig, machen jedoch süchtig wie eine Droge.«
Jack Ketchum: »Wenn du Mellick noch nicht gelesen hast, bist du vielleicht nicht verkorkst genug für das 21. Jahrhundert.«
Vice Magazine: »Ein Wurmloch, gefüllt mit verstörendem Surrealismus und absurder Satire.«
Fangoria: »Echte Outsider-Kunst.«
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Mark Knight wakes in the afterlife to discover that he's been drafted into Hell's army, forced to fight against the hordes of murderous angels attacking from the North. He finds himself to be both the pilot and the fuel of a demonic war machine known as Lynx, a living demon woman with the ability to mutate into a weaponized battle suit that reflects the unique destructive force of a man's soul.
While piloting Lynx, Mark adapts quickly to his new life as a soldier and learns that his abilities far surpass those of a normal human recruit. His fighting skills are so great that it could even be a turning point in this war that has not progressed in over five thousand years. But Mark has no interest in winning the war for the kingdom of Hell. All he wants is to see his wife, Amy, once again. As a Christian woman who died tragically in her youth, Mark is positive that she went to Heaven after her death. And if he can fight his way past the angels to reach Heaven's Gate, Mark believes he'll be able to rescue Amy from a life of servitude and find a place they can live together for the rest of their post-human lives.
Set in the same universe as Mellick's bizarro romantic comedy, I Knocked Up Satan's Daughter, The Boy with the Chainsaw Heart illustrates a darker side of the afterlife, one that neither Christian nor Atheist would wish to endure.
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Die Kinder sehnen sich nach der liebevollen Umarmung ihrer Mutter. Aber dieser Tag scheint nie zu kommen.
Tick und Polly haben ihre Eltern noch nie gesehen. Sie leben mit ihnen in demselben zerfallenen Gebäude, aber aus irgendeinem Grund haben ihre Eltern sie niemals besucht.
Als die Maschinen, die sie mit Nahrung und Wasser versorgen, nicht mehr funktionieren, müssen die Geschwister ihr Zimmer zum ersten Mal verlassen.
Der Rest des Hauses ist viel größer, als sie sich das vorgestellt haben. Die labyrinthartigen Gänge sind dunkel und voller Schatten, in denen seltsame Kreaturen lauern.
Je tiefer Tick und Polly in das Haus vordringen, umso mehr verwirrende Geheimnisse offenbaren sich …
Quicksand House ist wie eine Survival-Horror-Version von Blumen der Nacht. Ein dystopischer Albtraum vom Meister der Bizarro Fiction.
Amazon.de: »Mellick III ist der Tim Burton der Literatur.«
Brian Keene: »Bizarr, abgedreht und erbarmungslos – Carlton Mellicks Werk ist, als hättest du dein Hirn in einen Mixer gesteckt.«
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It's the last school trip young Emily will ever get to go on. Not because it's the end of the school year, but because the world is coming to an end. Teachers, parents, and other students have been slowly dying off over the past several months, killed in mysterious traps that have been appearing across the countryside. Nobody knows where the traps come from or who put them there, but they seem to be designed to exterminate the entirety of the human race.
Emily thought it was going to be an ordinary trip to the local amusement park, but what was supposed to be a normal afternoon of bumper cars and roller coasters has turned into a fight for survival after their teacher is horrifically killed in front of them, leaving the small children to fend for themselves in a life or death game of mouse and mouse trap. There appears to be a hope for salvation when eighth grader Clyde Donner, a boy Emily has had a crush on ever since she was a little girl, enters their lives and promises that all the children will be safe as long as they do exactly as he says. But when it appears that Clyde does not have everyone's best interests in mind, it's up to Emily to put her feelings aside in order to ensure the safety of those younger and more vulnerable than her.
Mouse Trap is an intense, suspense-filled thrill ride for fans of Mellick's more disturbing YA stories such as Sweet Story, Quicksand House, and The Terrible Thing That Happens.
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Karl Lybeck has been repeating the same day over and over again, in a constant loop, for what feels like a thousand years. He's been stuck in this endless cycle for so long that he doesn't remember what his life was like before time stopped moving forward. He doesn't remember his parents' faces or what he used to do for a living. The only reason he remembers his own name is because it's printed on his Oregon State driver's license.
When a woman named January enters his life, Karl learns that he isn't the only one trapped in the time loop. In fact, the majority of the population has been repeating the same day just as he has been for hundreds of years. While Karl was hiding isolated in his suburban home, a whole new world was being built just outside his door. Society has adapted to repeating. Strange laws have been implemented. A new memory-based currency has been put into place.
But there's something not quite right about the new repeating government. Karl doesn't understand why those in charge have no interest in trying to fix their situation. He doesn't doesn't understand why going into the neverday--that time period that only exists if you stay awake all night to avoid repetition--is considered the worst possible crime that anyone can commit. With the help of others who share in his suspicions, Karl plans to find out exactly what is being hidden from them, even if it destroys the very fabric of their society forever.
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Ethan ist in das seltsamste Mädchen der Schule verliebt. Die mit den Spinnen im Haar. Die, die sie Spiderweb nennen.
Obwohl sie alle anderen Kinder in der Schule abschreckt, hält Ethan Spiderweb für das süßeste Mädchen der Welt. Aber es gibt ein Problem: Jedes Mal, wenn sie starke Gefühle hat ... nun ja ... explodiert ihr Gesicht.
Je näher die beiden sich kommen, desto absonderlicher wird ihr Zustand …
Der neue Roman vom Kultautor der Bizarro-Fiction. Verstörend explosiv.
Carlton Mellick III zu lesen ist, als falle man in das Kaninchenloch, das dich ins Wunderland bringt.
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The creature was finally dead. After months of fighting it, trying desperately to stop it as it rampaged across the American countryside, turning city after city into a landscape of rubble, we finally managed to beat the damned thing. We actually saved the human species. We survived.
But the corpse still lingers.
In the center of the city once known as Portland, Oregon, there lies a mountain of flesh. Hundreds of thousands of tons of rotting flesh. It has filled the city with disease and dead-lizard stench, contaminated the water supply with its greasy putrid fluids, clogged the air with toxic gasses so thick that you can't leave your house without the aid of a gas mask. And no one really knows quite what to do about it. A thousand-man demolition crew has been trying to clear it out one piece at a time, but after three months of work they've barely made a dent. And then there's the junkies who have started burrowing into the monster's guts, searching for a drug produced by its fire glands, setting back the excavation even longer.
It seems like the corpse will never go away. And with the quarantine still in place, we're not even allowed to leave. We're stuck in this disgusting rotten hell forever.
The Big Meat is a gut-wrenching, nerve-squirming survival story of loss, addiction, and claustrophobia.
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Irving Rice has just arrived on the planet Kynaria to film an episode of the popular Travel Channel television series Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern: Intergalactic Edition. Having never left his home state, let alone his home planet, Irving is hit with a severe case of culture shock. He’s not prepared for Kynaria’s mushroom cities, fungus-like citizens, or the giant insect wildlife. And the only human companion he has with him on the voyage is an obnoxious, sex-crazed producer named Mick Meyers, who seems more focused on alien sex tourism than scouting locations for the show.
Irving is taken on a crash course in Kynarian culture, tasting the strange local delicacies to getting drunk off the horrific local brews, until they find themselves ending the night at an alien brothel in the mushroom forests outside of town. Irving is completely resistant to the idea of sleeping with a non-human prostitute until he meets the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen in his life—a nymph-like woman with pink and purple skin, blue plant-like hair, and flowers growing from her head like butterfly antennae. But after a night of passionate lovemaking, Irving finds himself infected by dangerous sexually-transmitted parasites that turn his otherworldly business trip into an agonizing fight for survival.
From the godfather of bizarre fiction, Carlton Mellick III, author of Village of the Mermaids and Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, comes an erotic and disturbing tale of sex on the weird side of the galaxy.
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Stacking Doll is the story of Benjamin Hammond, a young man who is in love with a Russian nesting doll. But in this world, nesting dolls are not just antique wooden toys. They are a race of people known as Matryoshkans, a subspecies of human who are born with a very peculiar abnormality—they have a collection of smaller people living inside of them.
Benjamin never thought he’d ever fall in love with anyone, let alone a Matryoshkan, but from the moment he met Ynaria he knew she was the only one for him. Although relationships between humans and Matryoshkans are practically unheard of, the two are determined to get married despite objections from their friends and family. After meeting Ynaria’s strict conservative parents, it becomes clear to Benjamin that the only way they will approve of their union is if they undergo The Trial—a matryoshkan wedding tradition where couples lock themselves in a house for several days in order to introduce each other to all of the people living inside of them.
No human has ever gone through The Trial before, so Benjamin has no idea what’s in store for him. He assumes that he’ll love each of Ynaria’s inner selves just as much as he loves her, but as she peels off her layers he realizes that each one is more neurotic and difficult to deal with than the last. And if they’re ever going to be together, Benjamin must fall in love with each and every one of his fiancé’s inner personalities, no matter how strange or disturbing they turn out to be.
From the author of Quicksand House and The Terrible Thing That Happens, comes yet another one-of-a-kind bizarro story that only Wonderland Award-winning cult author Carlton Mellick III could tell.
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Only Petey remembers the Fruit Fun cereal commercials of the 1980s. He remembers how warped and disturbing they were. He remembers the lumpy-shaped cartoon children sitting around a breakfast table, eating puffy pink cereal brought to them by the distortedly animated mascot, Berry Bunny. The characters were creepier than the Sesame Street Humpty Dumpty, freakier than Mr. Noseybonk from the old BBC show Jigsaw. They used to give him nightmares as a child. Nightmares where Berry Bunny would reach out of the television and grab him, pulling him into her cereal bowl to be eaten by the demented cartoon children.
When Petey brings up Fruit Fun to his friends, none of them have any idea what he’s talking about. They’ve never heard of the cereal or seen the commercials before. And they’re not the only ones. Nobody has ever heard of it. There’s not even any information about Fruit Fun on google or wikipedia. At first, Petey thinks he’s going crazy. He wonders if all of those commercials were real or just false memories. But then he starts seeing them again. Berry Bunny appears on his television, promoting Fruit Fun cereal in her squeaky unsettling voice. And the next thing Petey knows, he and his friends are sucked into the cereal commercial and forced to survive in a surreal world populated by cartoon characters made flesh.
From the cult author of Cuddly Holocaust, Cannibals of Candyland, and I Knocked Up Satan’s Daughter, comes an absurd horror tale that pulls you in and never lets go.
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