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Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It Hardcover – 17 May 2016
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Chatty and friendly and packed with helpful resources, this is an intriguing approach to business and personal negotiations. -- Publishers Weekly
From the Back Cover
A field-tested, game-changing approach to high-stakes negotiations—whether in the boardroom or at home.
Never Split the Difference is a riveting, indispensable handbook of negotiation principles culled and perfected from Chris Voss’s remarkable career as a hostage negotiator and later as an award-winning teacher in the world’s most prestigious business schools. From policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Missouri, to becoming the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator to teaching negotiation at leading universities, Voss has tested these techniques across the full spectrum of human endeavor and proved their effectiveness. Those who have benefited from these techniques include business clients generating millions in additional profits, MBA students getting better jobs, and even parents dealing with their kids.
Never Split the Difference provides a gripping, behind-the-scenes recounting of dramatic scenarios from the gang-infested streets of Haiti to a Brooklyn bank robbery gone horribly wrong, revealing the negotiation strategies that helped Voss and his colleagues succeed where it mattered most: saving lives. As a world-class negotiator, Voss shows you how to use these skills in the workplace and in every other realm of your life.
Life is a series of negotiations: whether buying a car, getting a better raise, buying a home, renegotiating rent, or deliberating with your partner, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any discussion.
Advance praise for Never Split The Difference
“This book blew my mind. It’s a riveting read, full of instantly actionable advice—not just for high-stakes negotiations, but also for handling everyday conflicts at work and at home.”—Adam Grant, Wharton Professor and New York Times bestselling author of originals and give and take
“Emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence without sacrificing deal-making power. From the pen of a former hostage negotiator—someone who couldn’t take no for an answer—which makes it fascinating reading. But it’s also eminently practical. In these pages, you will find the techniques for getting the deal you want.”—Daniel H. Pink, bestselling author of To Sell Is Human and Drive
“Former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss has few equals when it comes to high-stakes negotiations. Whether for your business or your personal life, his techniques work.”—Joe Navarro, FBI Special Agent (Ret.) and author of the international bestseller What Every Body Is Saying
“Your business—basically your entire life—comes down to your performance in crucial conversations, and these tools will give you the edge you need. . . .It’s required reading for my employees because I use the lessons in this book every single day, and I want them to, too.”—Jason McCarthy, CEO of GORUCK
- Publisher : Harper Business; 1st edition (17 May 2016)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 288 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0062407805
- ISBN-13 : 978-0062407801
- Item Weight : 444 g
- Dimensions : 15.24 x 2.46 x 22.86 cm
- Country of Origin : USA
- Best Sellers Rank: #100,435 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
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Top reviews from India
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Fundamental message of Mr. Voss is that human beings are emotional and irrational. Decision making is at the end of the say an emotional decision. The historical theories on negotiations are built on human beings rational and both the sides developing "win win" solutions. However, in a hostage crisis, it may not be possible to have a win win outcome. And therefore the title of the book -- never split the difference.
Mr. Voss's negotiation approach is roughly as follows:
1. Listen to the other party carefully. Mr. Voss believes that people wish to be understood and accepted and listening is the best way to do that.
2. Second thing that he emphasises is to spot the emotion in the other party, summarise/ paraphrase what the other person is saying. Summarising may not be by accepting what the other person is saying but by "labelling it". This way the counter party feels safe, understood and develops trust. This makes the other person more open to ideas.
3. People like autonomy and control. Allowing them to say no is often a great way to understand their reservations and also gives them the feeling that they are in control. Understanding their resistance can open up things.
4. Watch out for the phrase "That's right". Human beings like to be understood and positively affirmed. Once that happens, it is possible to get a positive breakthrough.
5. Importance of asking callibrative questions by using words such as "What/ When/ How/ Who". As the author says, this a way of saying no, without saying no and giving the other person the illusion of control.
6. Importance of the parties feeling that they have been accorded "Fair Treatment"
7. Anchoring proposals to get the desired outcome.
At the end, the author emphasises the importance of self control and emotional regulation and using the same tools that are needed in any relationship of understanding the other party, building trust and rapport, making the other party feel our empathy and then getting them to do things that we want them to do.
The real life examples make this a fun and engaging book to read. It is well written and easy to read. I give it my highest recommendation.
Some concepts appear to be so simple that people don 't think they are powerful. When the same concept is put in a hostage narrative, it becomes rivetting & memorable . Eg Chris has writes about a strategy called unconditional positive regard - a strategy that if you read ,without his story ,would seem so basic & boring it would slip off your brain like water off a duck's back . But Chris shows you how he used it to get a hardcore bad guy - a murderer - a cold hearted killer , to give up his demand of a ransom which was - hold your breath - $ 10 MILLION ! I have used this strategy several times & have benefitted enormously after reading the book , though I knew of the strategy before . So "how" Chris teaches , is "what" he teaches . Read this book . Mind map it to discover some exciting new ways to negotiate & rediscover some old strategies which are in the dark corners of your mind , which you ll feel like dusting & throwing into the full glare of sunlight & the most important - USING it to become a better & richer human being
However, the font is just so small that you get a headache and the page looks dense and cluttered. However, if you can bear the font, then go ahead because unlike most other negotiation books this one is based on hand off approach that has been improved by author while working for FBI.
1. It tells how to understand the other person’s mind.
2. It gives you step by step approach to win an upper hand at a negotiation.
3. The advice is very easy to implement, and it works, as I’ve tried it.
4. The book is also easy to read, and it doesn’t drag too much.
5. It’s also a very short read.
6. It gives you tips to exploit the other person’s mind to gain an upper hand in a negotiation.
The long version -
Negotiation is an important skill. Everyone negotiates for almost everything. But it's one of the most overlooked concepts of human interaction. We negotiate everyday with almost everyone we meet. This book will help you master the art of negotiation, not just in your professional life but also personal.
The book is very crisply written, with each chapter explaining different topics related to negotiation. Each chapter starts off with an anecdote, and the principle is explained as you progress through the chapter. The author gives you step by step approach to get what you want in any negotiation. One of the best things about the book is that the advice is very easy to implement. It surely isn't rocket science; all it takes is a bit of practice and you can become the master of negotiation. The chapters also contain various hostage situations where the hostages are saved by following the guidelines provided in the book.
There aren't too many studies mentioned to overwhelm you, just enough to make you understand the human psyche and how the mind of the other person operates during a negotiation and how you can exploit it to win an upper hand in your negotiation.
This book was very easy to read and implement. This is by far the best book on negotiation for modern times. Read it and you can play with the minds of people during a negotiation.
Top reviews from other countries
This stuff works a treat if, and only if you are willing to put the methods into practice
on a daily basis. I am using it constantly every single day and it has produced amazing results.
As Chris Voss said "everything is a negotiation" and I would agree 100% it's just i've never noticed it before..but i do now.
Try it out for yourself, you will be surprised at how effective it is.
Just be prepared to put in the work required to learn a new skill. I really had to laugh at one of the negative reviews that implied they should
now be a skilled negotiator as if reading the book once worked like some sort of osmosis straight from Chris Voss.
Yeah...get real mate.
A couple of weeks after starting the book I negotiated a vendor at work from a 'list price' of about £68,000 for some equipment down to about £22,000*, partly by applying techniques from this book. Given that I spent £4.45 on the book, I think it's paid for itself by now.
*Obviously, having read the book my final offer was not a rounded number. Read it yourself, and you'll see what I mean.
I had high hopes for this book... waste of money. I've just thrown it into the bin!
I am half way through the book, it took a while to read as I have decided to digest the techniques and to see how effective they are.
I have applied mirroring, showing empathy labelling techniques when I communicating with my daughter and I found I have stopped saying no to her automatically and the relationship has improved since.
The poor printing is not the whole book and only on a dozen pages. But still, very disappointing.
Reviewed in Canada on 9 March 2020
The poor printing is not the whole book and only on a dozen pages. But still, very disappointing.