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Susan Cain

Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking Paperback – 3 February 2013

by Susan Cain (Author)

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A SUNDAY TIMES AND NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER, THIS BOOK WILL CHANGE HOW YOU SEE INTROVERTS - AND YOURSELF - FOREVER.

Our lives are driven by a fact that most of us can't name and don't understand. It defines who our friends and lovers are, which careers we choose, and whether we blush when we're embarrassed.

That fact is whether we're an introvert or an extrovert.

The most fundamental dimension of personality, at least a third of us are introverts, and yet shyness, sensitivity and seriousness are often seen as a negative. Some of the world's most talented people are introverts - without them we wouldn't have the Apple computer, the theory of relativity and Van Gogh's sunflowers. In Quiet, Susan Cain shows how society misunderstands and undervalues introverts while giving them the tools to better understand themselves and take full advantage of their strengths.

Passionately argued, superbly researched, and filled with real stories, whether an introvert or extrovert, this book will change how you see human beings for good.

*****

'I can't get Quiet out of my head. It is an important book - so persuasive and timely and heartfelt it should inevitably effect change in schools and offices' Jon Ronson, The Guardian

'Susan Cain's Quiet has sparked a quiet revolution . . . Perhaps rather than sitting back and asking people to speak up, managers and company leaders might lean forward and listen' Megan Walsh, The Times

'Maybe the extrovert ideal is no longer as powerful as it was; perhaps it is time we all stopped to listen to the still, small voice of calm' Daisy Goodwin, The Sunday Times

Print length

352 pages
Language:

English
Publisher

Penguin UK
Publication date

3 February 2013
Dimensions

12.9 x 2.1 x 19.8 cm
ISBN-10

0141029196
ISBN-13

978-0141029191
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Review

Marvellous. The most important book published for a decade -- Lynne Truss ― Sunday Telegraph

Quiet is a very timely book, and Cain's central thesis is fresh and important. Maybe the extrovert ideal is no longer as powerful as it was; perhaps it is time we all stopped to listen to the still, small voice of calm -- Daisy Goodwin ― The Sunday Times

Susan Cain's Quiet has sparked a quiet revolution. In our booming culture, hers is a still, small voice that punches above its weight. Perhaps rather than sitting back and asking people to speak up, managers and company leaders might lean forward and listen -- Megan Walsh ― The Times

I can't get Quiet out of my head. It is an important book - so persuasive and timely and heartfelt it should inevitably effect change in schools and offices -- Jon Ronson ― The Guardian

A startling, important, and readable page-turner ― Naomi Wolf, author of The Beauty Myth

About the Author

About the Author: Susan Cain is an honors graduate of Harvard Law School and Princeton University. She was a practicing corporate lawyer for seven years, before she took up writing as a full-time career. She also worked as a negotiations consultant and had the opportunity to train various working professionals, ranging from television producers to hedge fund managers. She even helped students in negotiating their initial salaries. During the span of her career she has represented clients such as Shearman & Sterling, General Electric, Merrill Lynch, One Hundred Women in Hedge Funds, JP Morgan and many others. She has received many accolades including the Harvard Law School Celebration Award for Thought Leadership and the Toastmasters International Golden Gavel Award for Communication and Leadership.

From the Publisher

Publisher : Penguin UK; Latest edition (3 February 2013)
Language: : English
Paperback : 352 pages
ISBN-10 : 0141029196
ISBN-13 : 978-0141029191
Item Weight : 245 g
Dimensions : 12.9 x 2.1 x 19.8 cm
Generic Name : BOOK

Best Sellers Rank: #771 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #8 in Psychology (Books)
- #50 in Reference (Books)
- #172 in Personal Development & Self-Help

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SAINATH REDDY

IT SPEAKS BEHALF OF QUIET PEOPLE

Reviewed in India on 30 March 2019

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I am an introvert. I have been struggling my entire life to know what am I why am I behaving in the way which is uncomfortable and felt like an alien around cheerful, outgoing and talkative people.
I have faced a lot of people asking the same questions repeatedly like
Why are so quiet? What are you thinking the whole time?
What will you do at home the whole day?
Why don't you mingle with all in any kind of gatherings? You look so serious is there any problem? And in addition to this, I experience a distressing and weird reaction of my hand getting sweat and hearing my own heartbeat whenever I stand up in my classroom to speak up feeling overwhelmed while entering a shopping mall or a public market. These are the questions and experiences faced and felt for which I don't any kind of answer. So I started to search on the internet and even had a thought of consulting a psychiatrist but I didn't.
In the process, I came to know the people who are quiet, shy, solitary, etc are considered as a category called introverts. From then I have been searching to know more about introverts like articles, videos, books, etc. I have watched Susan Cain's Ted talk and longed to read this book. After reading this book I have an answer to all my questions and struggles personally experienced.
The book was well written. It gives us a detailed history of America on how the culture of outgoing, assertive, showmanship prevailed during the 20th century. It tells us the transformation of the culture of character to the culture of personality in a short period. It bursts the myth of charismatic leadership that even quiet people who think before they speak can be good leaders in their own ways. Extroverts and Introverts have their own pros and cons in every position in life and society.
The second part goes into the brains of introverted kids and tries to explore the reasons for introverted behavior whether it depends on the nature of their mind or can be nurtured while growing depending on their environments.
The next part describes us about relationships with introverts as it is said that for every three people there is one introvert so it can be your partner, brother, sister, friend and children.
It gives a detailed description and advice on how to understand and empathize with your relationships.
It is a Good Book and a definite read for everyone to understand the people around you because one third to half the world's population are introverts.
It answered all my questions about my personality, I kind of felt normal not an alien😁 anymore after reading this book.

148 people found this helpful

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Aishwariya Laxmi

How to Achieve Success in the United States of America as an Introvert

Reviewed in India on 12 January 2018

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Book Review by K.S.Loganathan

Susan Cain is a former lawyer, an alumna of Harvard Law School, an introvert, who turned to homemaking and writing. She ‘looks back’ on her years as a Wall Street lawyer as time spent in a foreign country. “It was absorbing, it was exciting, and I got to meet a lot of interesting people whom I never would have known otherwise. But I was always an expatriate.”

Synopsis
That aggressive, self-assured, extroverted personality types are highly valued in competitive, materialistic, success-orientated nations like the US is well-known. Introverted, person-orientated, easygoing types tend to be regarded as second-class citizens. How extroversion became the cultural ideal in the US is dealt with in detail in Chapters 1-3. America had shifted from what Warren Susman called a ‘Culture of Character’ exemplified by Abraham Lincoln to a ‘Culture of Personality’ (under Donald Trump?) and opened up a Pandora’s Box of personal anxieties, ‘a natural product of a society that was both dog-eat-dog and relentlessly social.’ America quickly developed from an agricultural society to an urbanized, ‘the business of America is business’ powerhouse. Dale Carnegie, Madison Avenue, Hollywood, IBM, Tony Robbins, and that temple of extroversion and doyen of vocal business leadership, Harvard Business School, and televangelists, all typify the rise of extraversion. The New Groupthink organized workforces into teams, even brainstorming in groups, and created open-office plans rendering creativity in solitude impossible. The rise of the worldwide web, however, has offered some respite for introverts, spawning wondrous creations via shared brainpower.

The basic personality type that a person has is a result of all factors in the person’s upbringing, including genetics. Psychologists accept that people do not change from one basic personality type to another, even though variations are possible, tempered by their pathological characteristics. The so-called Big 5 traits: introversion/extroversion, agreeableness, openness to experience, conscientiousness, and emotional stability encompass the gamut of personality traits.

Chapters 4-7 examine the biological basis of introversion, including brain structures in amygdala and neo-cortex, which are active participants in our emotional-rational lives. Recent research work by Jerome Kagan, the author of ‘Galen’s Prophecy,’ Dr. Carl Schwartz, and Dr. Elaine Aron are cited. Extroverts’ dopamine pathways lead to an emotional state called ‘the buzz’ – a rush of energized, enthusiastic feelings with a delightful champagne bubble quality. However, this may cloud their judgment. Financial and military history is replete with examples of extroverts charging ahead when they should have withdrawn. Introverts are threat-orientated and have an inbuilt loss-avoidance system, and so are less risk-taking. Despite the variety of experiences in our lifetime, our core traits remain constant.

Part 3 of the book deals with other cultures, in this case, mainly Chinese-Americans, who are more introverted and Mahatma Gandhi, who wielded soft power with devastating effect on the British Empire.

The value of the book is in Part 4, which advises introverts on how to love and how to work in the US.

If you are an introvert in corporate America, you should spend your weekdays striving to ‘get out there, mix, speak more often, and connect with your team and others, deploying all the energy and personality you can muster’ and retreat for quiet weekends. In other words, engage in a certain level of pretend-extroversion. Identify your core personal projects, and develop a ‘restorative niche’ as Professor Brian Little advocates. (Little also extolls the book as ‘superb’.)

In personal life, introverts who are married to extroverts must both strive to understand each others’ different ways and accept the realities to resolve their differences. Parents of introverted children must expose their children gradually to new situations and people and determine the right schools to put them in. ‘The secret to life,’ the author says, ‘is to put yourself in the right lighting’ (and not to avoid the spotlight). As group dynamics contain impediments to creative thinking, whereas solitude is often a spur to creativity, companies must think twice about how to design office space to accommodate both group interactions and “rabbit holes into which Alices can tumble”.

My Views:
Susan Cain presents a strong case for introverts vs. extroverts in the US, emphasizing that the more socially desirable types have limitations, while the silent minority of introverts who receive fewer social rewards have assets which make them valuable, too. There is no doubt that healthy introverts are profound thinkers and visionaries, even geniuses, such as Albert Einstein, Sigmund Freud, and Emily Dickinson. However, Susan Cain glosses over the intersection of introversion and other negative traits, such as neuroticism, schizoid behavior, delusions, and nihilism. The stress caused by social isolation and the physical exhaustion brought about by a hyperactive mind may eventually result in thought disorders and over-dependence on anxiety drugs, much of which plagues America today.

The book cover is understated, in subdued white, with the title and author’s name embossed, in sharp contrast to Americana, with red, blue, stars and stripes emblazoned in much of its merchandise.

The book is a must-read for expatriates in the USA who may find the pace loud and hectic. Just where can the true-blue introverts in the world find a sanctuary?

In Finland, of course. Finland is a famously introverted nation. Finnish Joke: How can you tell if a Finn likes you? He is staring at your shoes, instead of his own. (Page 14, ibid.)

56 people found this helpful

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Lavanya Nemana

Mind set and Life changing book

Reviewed in India on 19 May 2017

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This book deserves the greatest rating. In fact its greatness is beyond all the ratings. It's not just a book, it's a research, it's an intovert's mind. I would suggest each person to read this. Though introverts might connect to this book well, I would suggest that extroverts should also read the book to understand their life partners, friends, colleagues, employees and employers.
Lucky to find and read such a great epic !

29 people found this helpful

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Ajita Chakraborty

A One of a Kind book

Reviewed in India on 30 April 2014

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This is a very beautiful book and probably one of a kind. This book deals with the introvert persons, their perspective to the world, their likes anjd dislikes and how very different they are the from extroverts. While most of the self help books look down upon the introvert people and try to turn them to extroverts, this book celebrate introvertion. I would recommend this book to all the introverts out there.

29 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

Anya Abdulakh

How this book changed my relationship with my daughter

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 17 September 2018

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Our society has placed extroverts as a golden standard: parents, school and employers expect a child/a person to be outgoing, confident and sociable. Contributing to the discussions, taking an initiative, competitiveness and be good at public speaking seem to be a must for a bright future.

What if your child is an introvert and does not like to be in the centre of public attention, prefers to have a deeper relationship with a smaller group of friends and occasionally needs to recharge the energy level by being on his/her own?

My daughter turned 8 this week and she did not want to have any birthday party. She does not enjoy competitions, she is uncomfortable joining new groups and takes her time to make new friends. She enjoys playing imaginary games or reading a book. At the same time, when at home or with a small group of friends, my daughter is a bubbly, chatty girl.

As a (mostly) extrovert mum, I have made my share of mistakes with my child. When adults try to talk to my daughter and she does not reply, I jump in with the comment, “She is shy”. Worth of it, I would push my daughter to talk to adults (like ordering in the restaurants) to the extent that she would get so nervous and get a tick. That made me stop and think. I started to look for help in some books and , luckily, I came across a wonderful book by Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop.

The book does not only explain the nature of introverts and helps to understand their character better, but also gives practical advice how to make sure you help introverts not to go against their nature but let them flourish in the culture of extroverts.

Thank you Ms Cain for such a wonderful gift to the parents!

106 people found this helpful

Book Lover

Interesting, thoughtful, readable and inspiring – the kind of book that leaves you thinking about it

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 16 October 2017

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I absolutely love this book. It’s the kind of book that you read and find yourself nodding along to, and then thinking about during the day, and then realising this example fits here and that situation is like that, and oh! That’s why….

The writing is an excellent mix between research, case studies and thoughtful conclusions, all balanced so it never feels boring or overwhelming. There is a section of endnotes, and because I was reading the Kindle version, the notes were all linked – if you click on the note, it takes you to the endnotes with a longer explanation! I get happy about the little things.

The ideas are also incredibly interesting. Not everything will apply to all introverts, but I’d recommend this book to anyone – it’s really interesting to be challenged on how I view the world from an introvert perspective (like arguing – raising your voice means an attack! But for extroverts, it’s a sign of passion and involvement) and it’s really interesting to realise how those difference shape society and interactions with others.

It’s also so, so reassuring. This is me. This is some reasons why I might do the things I do, why I don’t like parties in a certain format, why I need down time when other people don’t. It’s being reminded that it’s ok to be different, and that actually there are other people out there who are similar – even if I live and work in a world that seems full of extroverts, it’s ok to need alone time, and that my strengths don’t have to lie in the same things – listening, thoughtfulness and consideration are all important, even if they come at a cost of an immediate answer or participation in small-talk. It was also reassuring to realise that being able to extrovert on occasion is normal – it just comes at more of a cost to introverts than it does to extroverts!

Interesting, thoughtful, readable and inspiring – the kind of book that leaves you thinking about it a long time after you’ve shut it.

133 people found this helpful

Tawny

Insightful and valuable, life-changing book for the struggling introvert

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 7 January 2019

Verified Purchase

Firstly, if you don't read the rest of this review, I just want to say: if you are an introvert, buy this book right now. You won't regret it.

I got this book on a recommendation on a forum where I was researching about how to be more confident a person. I've been struggling recently, becoming more senior in my role at work and so have felt pressured to be more comfortable in my own skin and get my ideas across in a way that people listen. It just doesn't come naturally to me, and I was starting to judge myself for it and feel like I wasn't good enough because everybody expects you to be a particular way.

Well, after reading this book, I would challenge anybody who makes me feel like it's not okay to be the way I am and would explain that even though I am quiet, the world still needs people like me just as much as it needs people that can grab attention from everybody in a room. And I also understand that even though I might need to be a "pseudo-extrovert" at times and can learn how to be good at public speaking and will still need to put myself in uncomfortable situations for the sake of things I believe in, I still need down-time and respect the fact that I am happiest when I have time to recharge at home or spend time with my family in a calm and cosy setting. I also think this book will help me when I have children in making sure that whether I have an introverted or extroverted child, they have all the support they can from me no matter what.

Susan Cain has an amazing writing style and I've never been kept interested to read a book like this from start to finish, as it has a lot of references to studies and usually I find this quite boring in other non-fiction books to do with health. But she keeps you involved, and forever writes about things that I'm guessing a lot of people can relate to whilst you carry on reading. She also reflects on a lot of experiences she's had with various people - again, something I don't usually enjoy, but it is written so well that I was never bored for a moment.

The book is quite long and has smaller writing than a lot of books I read, but honestly - read it. If you class yourself as an introvert, just buy it. It will change your life.

34 people found this helpful

Shehzad

Very pleasantly surprised, impressed even, as an Extrovert!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 25 July 2016

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It was actually my wife who bought this book as she is an Introvert and naturally she loved it.

To be brutally honest, as an extrovert, I was very sceptical about this book - I was under the impression it would be soppy and introverts playing the victim card. I could not have been any more wrong!

For me this book was such an eye-opener (even though I have done MBTI before and was fairly well familiar with E v/s I) into understanding, not just introverts, but myself as an extrovert.

I could not put the book down once I started it and I would recommend everyone to read it - I've actually recommended it in my book club at work. Don't assume, as I did, that only introverts will have something to take from this book. If, like me, your other half is an introvert, this book could really help improve communication in your couple.

Talking is not always necessary - a good book and a cuppa works just as well!

85 people found this helpful

Max M

AMAZING

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 29 July 2018

Verified Purchase

This book is amazing, it has changed my life. Everyone around me (including myself) thought there was something wrong with me.
Why doesn’t she want to talk about celebrities, gossip, and other pointless rubbish? Why is she so ‘rude’?
They thought I might be autistic or have social anxiety disorder.
This book has described everything I have been confused about since I was very little, and made me see that the things that are ‘wrong’ with me are actually good things. Knowledge is power, and understanding myself at last is brilliant. I feel so free.

27 people found this helpful

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