Tom Holt

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Books By Tom Holt
'Tom Holt's Doughnut presents a roller-coaster ride through the world of physics and the origins of the universe.' - Library Journal
'One for physicists as well as Krispy Kreme-loving policemen.' - T3
The doughnut is a thing of beauty.
A circle of fried doughy perfection.
A source of comfort in trying times, perhaps.
For Theo Bernstein, however, it is far, far more.
Things have been going pretty badly for Theo Bernstein. An unfortunate accident at work lost him his job (and his work involved a Very Very Large Hadron Collider, so he's unlikely to get it back). His wife has left him. And he doesn't have any money.
Before Theo has time to fully appreciate the pointlessness of his own existence, news arrives that his good friend Professor Pieter van Goyen, renowned physicist and Nobel laureate, has died.
By leaving the apparently worthless contents of his safety deposit to Theo, however, the professor has set him on a quest of epic proportions. A journey that will rewrite the laws of physics. A battle to save humanity itself.
This is the tale of a man who had nothing and gave it all up to find his destiny - and a doughnut.
From one of the best-loved comic writers in fantasy fiction comes another absurdly witty science fiction title - perfect for fans of Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett.
Books by Tom Holt:
Walled Orchard Series
Goatsong
The Walled Orchard
J.W. Wells & Co. Series
The Portable Door
In Your Dreams
Earth, Air, Fire and Custard
You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps
The Better Mousetrap
May Contain Traces of Magic
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages
YouSpace Series
Doughnut
When It's A Jar
The Outsorcerer's Apprentice
The Good, the Bad and the Smug
Novels
Expecting Someone Taller
Who's Afraid of Beowulf
Flying Dutch
Ye Gods!
Overtime
Here Comes the Sun
Grailblazers
Faust Among Equals
Odds and Gods
Djinn Rummy
My Hero
Paint your Dragon
Open Sesame
Wish you Were Here
Alexander at World's End
Only Human
Snow White and the Seven Samurai
Olympiad
Valhalla
Nothing But Blue Skies
Falling Sideways
Little People
Song for Nero
Meadowland
Barking
Blonde Bombshell
The Management Style of the S
'Another imaginative and seriously funny novel from a master of the humorous fantasy genre.' - Books Magazine
'Only a writer like Holt could make this work quite so well, and he does with great skill. Lots of fun.' - Manchester Evening News
The management buy-out of Hell wasn't going quite as well as had been hoped. For a start, there had been that nasty business with the perjurors, and then came the news that the Most Wanted Man in History had escaped, and all just as the plans for the new theme park, EuroBosch, were underway.
From one of the best-loved comic writers in fantasy fiction comes another absurdly witty title - perfect for fans of Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett.
Books by Tom Holt:
Walled Orchard Series
Goatsong
The Walled Orchard
J.W. Wells & Co. Series
The Portable Door
In Your Dreams
Earth, Air, Fire and Custard
You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps
The Better Mousetrap
May Contain Traces of Magic
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages
YouSpace Series
Doughnut
When It's A Jar
The Outsorcerer's Apprentice
The Good, the Bad and the Smug
Novels
Expecting Someone Taller
Who's Afraid of Beowulf
Flying Dutch
Ye Gods!
Overtime
Here Comes the Sun
Grailblazers
Faust Among Equals
Odds and Gods
Djinn Rummy
My Hero
Paint your Dragon
Open Sesame
Wish you Were Here
Alexander at World's End
Only Human
Snow White and the Seven Samurai
Olympiad
Valhalla
Nothing But Blue Skies
Falling Sideways
Little People
Song for Nero
Meadowland
Barking
Blonde Bombshell
The Management Style of the Supreme Beings
An Orc on the Wild Side
'Frantically wacky and wilfully confusing ... gratifyingly clever and very amusing' - MAIL ON SUNDAY
'Frothy, fast and funny' - SCOTLAND ON SUNDAY
Colin Hollinghead is a young man going nowhere fast. Working for his dad might have seemed like a good idea at the time, but starting at the bottom in the widget-making industry has somehow lost its appeal. And now the business is in trouble. At least his father has a plan to turn things round - a new work force that will improve profit margins and secure the company's future for eternity. The deal looks great on paper, but they do say that the devil is in the detail - and the old rogue certainly seems to be involved in some capacity. Colin needs help. Perhaps his new friend from J.W. Wells & Co. (Practical and Effective Magicians, Sorcerers and Supernatural Consultants) can help. Sparkling with wit and oozing charm, Tom Holt's new comic caper will delight his readers and prove once and for all that going to work can actually be hell.
And now the business is in trouble. At least his father has a plan to turn things round - a new work force that will improve profit margins and secure the company's future for eternity. The deal looks great on paper, but they do say that the devil is in the detail - and the old rogue certainly seems to be involved in some capacity.
Colin needs help. Perhaps his new friend from J.W. Wells & Co. (Practical and Effective Magicians, Sorcerers and Supernatural Consultants) can help.
Sparkling with wit and oozing charm, Tom Holt's new comic caper will delight his readers and prove once and for all that going to work can actually be hell.
Books by Tom Holt:
Walled Orchard Series
Goatsong
The Walled Orchard
J.W. Wells & Co. Series
The Portable Door
In Your Dreams
Earth, Air, Fire and Custard
You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps
The Better Mousetrap
May Contain Traces of Magic
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages
YouSpace Series
Doughnut
When It's A Jar
The Outsorcerer's Apprentice
The Good, the Bad and the Smug
Novels
Expecting Someone Taller
Who's Afraid of Beowulf
Flying Dutch
Ye Gods!
Overtime
Here Comes the Sun
Grailblazers
Faust Among Equals
Odds and Gods
Djinn Rummy
My Hero
Paint your Dragon
Open Sesame
Wish you Were Here
Alexander at World's End
Only Human
Snow White and the Seven Samurai
Olympiad
Valhalla
Nothing But Blue Skies
Falling Sideways
You Save: ₹ 21.10(5%)
'Frantically wacky and wilfully confusing ... gratifyingly clever and very amusing' - Mail on Sunday
'Frothy, fast and funny' - Scotland on Sunday
J.W. Wells seemed to be a respectable establishment, but the company now paying Paul Carpenter's salary is in fact a deeply sinister organisation with a mighty peculiar management team.
Paul thought he was getting the hang of it (particularly when he fell head over heels for his strangely alluring colleague Sophie), but death is never far away when you work at J.W. Wells. Unlike the stapler - that's always going awol. Our lovestruck hero is about to discover that custard is definitely in the eye of the beholder. And that it really stings.
Tom Holt's exceedingly comic fantasies are populated with evil goblins, annoying sprites and people like us. However, it's not always possible to tell the difference.
The third book to follow the hilarious adventures of Paul Carpenter - Tom Holt at his inventive best.
Books by Tom Holt:
Walled Orchard Series
Goatsong
The Walled Orchard
J.W. Wells & Co. Series
The Portable Door
In Your Dreams
Earth, Air, Fire and Custard
You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps
The Better Mousetrap
May Contain Traces of Magic
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages
YouSpace Series
Doughnut
When It's A Jar
The Outsorcerer's Apprentice
The Good, the Bad and the Smug
Novels
Expecting Someone Taller
Who's Afraid of Beowulf
Flying Dutch
Ye Gods!
Overtime
Here Comes the Sun
Grailblazers
Faust Among Equals
Odds and Gods
Djinn Rummy
My Hero
Paint your Dragon
Open Sesame
Wish you Were Here
Alexander at World's End
Only Human
Snow White and the Seven Samurai
Olympiad
Valhalla
Nothing But Blue Skies
Falling Sideways
Little People
Song for Nero
Meadowland
Barking
Blonde Bombshell
The Management Style of the Supreme Beings
An Orc on the Wild Side
'A definite must for all fans of comic fantasy' - ENIGMA
'Wacky humour bubbles through the polished narrative ... Holt doesn't skimp on the flashes of brilliance' - SFX
Ever been offered a promotion that seems too good to be true? You know - the sort they'd be insane to be offering to someone like you. The kind where you snap their arm off to accept, then wonder why all your long-serving colleagues look secretly relieved, as if they're off some strange and unpleasant hook ...
It's the kind of trick that deeply sinister companies like J.W. Wells & Co. pull all the time. Especially with employees who are too busy mooning over the office intern to think about what they're getting into.
And it's why, right about now, Paul Carpenter is wishing he'd paid much less attention to the gorgeous Melze, and rather more to a little bit of job description small-print referring to 'pest' control ...
Books by Tom Holt:
Walled Orchard Series
Goatsong
The Walled Orchard
J.W. Wells & Co. Series
The Portable Door
In Your Dreams
Earth, Air, Fire and Custard
You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps
The Better Mousetrap
May Contain Traces of Magic
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages
YouSpace Series
Doughnut
When It's A Jar
The Outsorcerer's Apprentice
The Good, the Bad and the Smug
Novels
Expecting Someone Taller
Who's Afraid of Beowulf
Flying Dutch
Ye Gods!
Overtime
Here Comes the Sun
Grailblazers
Faust Among Equals
Odds and Gods
Djinn Rummy
My Hero
Paint your Dragon
Open Sesame
Wish you Were Here
Alexander at World's End
Only Human
Snow White and the Seven Samurai
Olympiad
Valhalla
Nothing But Blue Skies
Falling Sideways
Little People
Song for Nero
Meadowland
Barking
Blonde Bombshell
The Management Style of the Supreme Beings
An Orc on the Wild Side
You Save: ₹ 162.50(24%)
'Tom Holt's comic fantasy is a great, uplifting read, fit to grace any reader's book collection' - Waterstones Books Quarterly
'Holt's quirky characters and whimsical voice successfully infuse life into this entertaining romantic comedy' - Publishers Weekly
It touches all our lives; our triumphs and tragedies, our proudest achievements, our most traumatic disasters. Alloyed of love and fear, death and fire and the inscrutable acts of the gods, insurance is indeed the force that binds the universe together.
Hardly surprising, therefore, that Frank Carpenter, one of the foremost magical practitioners of our age, felt himself irresistibly drawn to it. Until, that is, he met Jane, a high-flying corporate heroine with an annoying habit of falling out of trees and getting killed. Repeatedly.
It's not long before Frank and Jane find themselves face to face with the greatest enigma of our times: When is a door not a door? When it's a mousetrap.
A madcap comic fantasy from one of Britain's funniest writers.
Books by Tom Holt:
Walled Orchard Series
Goatsong
The Walled Orchard
J.W. Wells & Co. Series
The Portable Door
In Your Dreams
Earth, Air, Fire and Custard
You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps
The Better Mousetrap
May Contain Traces of Magic
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages
YouSpace Series
Doughnut
When It's A Jar
The Outsorcerer's Apprentice
The Good, the Bad and the Smug
Novels
Expecting Someone Taller
Who's Afraid of Beowulf
Flying Dutch
Ye Gods!
Overtime
Here Comes the Sun
Grailblazers
Faust Among Equals
Odds and Gods
Djinn Rummy
My Hero
Paint your Dragon
Open Sesame
Wish you Were Here
Alexander at World's End
Only Human
Snow White and the Seven Samurai
Olympiad
Valhalla
Nothing But Blue Skies
Falling Sideways
Little People
Song for Nero
Meadowland
Barking
Blonde Bombshell
The Management Style of the Supreme Beings
An Orc on the Wild Side
You Save: ₹ 55.75(10%)
'Uniquely twisted . . . cracking gags' - Guardian
'Holt doesn't skimp on the flashes of brilliance' - SFX
'Clever, funny, tirelessly inventive' - Christopher Moore
WINTER IS COMING, SO WHY NOT GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?
Being the Dark Lord and Prince of Evil is not as much fun as it sounds, particularly if you are a basically decent person. King Mordak is just such a person. Technically he's more goblin than person, but the point is that he is really keen to be a lot less despicable than his predecessors.
Not that the other goblins appreciate Mordak's attempts to redefine the role. Why should they when his new healthcare program seems designed to actually extend life expectancy, and his efforts to end a perfectly reasonable war with the dwarves appear to have become an obsession?
With confidence in his leadership crumbling, what Mordak desperately needs is a distraction. Perhaps some of these humans moving to the Realm in search of great homes at an affordable price will be able to help?
An Orc on the Wild Side is the latest comic masterpiece from one of the funniest writers in fantasy.
Books by Tom Holt:
J.W. Wells & Co. Series
The Portable Door
In Your Dreams
Earth, Air, Fire and Custard
You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps
The Better Mousetrap
May Contain Traces of Magic
YouSpace Series
Doughnut
When It's A Jar
The Outsorcerer's Apprentice
The Good, the Bad and the Smug
Other recent novels
Blonde Bombshell
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages
The Management Style of the Supreme Beings
An Orc on the Wild Side
“Humble Soup”: What has dampened the fighting spirit of Elizabeth Mapp-Flint, inexplicably cowed by her rival, Lucia Pillson? Fellow Tillingites are horrified when Lucia proposes raising funds for a new Church Hall roof by staging a series of tableaux vivants. Their entire social circle has been impressed into service. Elizabeth has always been counted on to keep Lucia’s worst instincts in check, yet this time that august lady is mum. Now Elizabeth is grimly practicing her choreography and her husband the Major has been compelled to don a frighteningly lifelike donkey’s head. How will the balance of power be restored?
Author Tom Holt is the only novelist sanctioned by the estate of E.F. Benson to write the further adventures of Lucia and Mapp.
'Highly amusing ... Eloquently snarky prose' - Publishers Weekly
'Inventively entertaining ...make you both laugh out loud and stop and think' - SFX
When the Supreme Being and his son decide that being supreme isn't for them any more, it's inevitable that things get a bit of a shake-up.
It soon becomes apparent that our new owners, the Venturi brothers, have a very different perspective on all sorts of things. Take Good and Evil, for example. For them, it's an outdated concept that never worked particularly well in the first place.
Unfortunately, the sudden disappearance of right and wrong, while welcomed by some, raises certain concerns amongst those still attached to the previous team's management style.
In particular, there's one of the old gods who didn't move out with the others. A reclusive chap, he lives somewhere up north, and only a handful even believe in him.
But he's watching. And he really does need to know if you've been naughty or nice.
What would happen if good and evil were replaced with a more dynamic system based on sound economic principles? Find out in Tom Holt's wickedly funny new comic novel!
Books by Tom Holt:
Walled Orchard Series
Goatsong
The Walled Orchard
J.W. Wells & Co. Series
The Portable Door
In Your Dreams
Earth, Air, Fire and Custard
You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps
The Better Mousetrap
May Contain Traces of Magic
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages
YouSpace Series
Doughnut
When It's A Jar
The Outsorcerer's Apprentice
The Good, the Bad and the Smug
Novels
Expecting Someone Taller
Who's Afraid of Beowulf
Flying Dutch
Ye Gods!
Overtime
Here Comes the Sun
Grailblazers
Faust Among Equals
Odds and Gods
Djinn Rummy
My Hero
Paint your Dragon
Open Sesame
Wish you Were Here
Alexander at World's End
Only Human
Snow White and the Seven Samurai
Olympiad
Valhalla
Nothing But Blue Skies
Falling Sideways
Little People
Song for Nero
Meadowland
Barking
Blonde Bombshell
The Management Style of the Supreme Beings
An Orc on the Wild Side
'This is a must-read for those who grew up in awe of The Phantom Tollbooth...Holt achieves near-perfection in his new comic fantasy.' - Publishers Weekly, starred review
'Exceedingly clever and funny.' - RT Book Reviews
New Evil.
Same as the Old Evil, but with better PR.
Mordak isn't bad, as far as goblin kings go, but when someone, or something, starts pumping gold into the human kingdoms it puts his rule into serious jeopardy. Suddenly he's locked in an arms race with a species whose arms he once considered merely part of a calorie-controlled diet.
Helped by an elf with a background in journalism and a masters degree in being really pleased with herself, Mordak sets out to discover what on earth (if indeed, that's where he is) is going on. He knows that the truth is out there. If only he could remember where he put it.
A witty fantasy novel of good, evil and everything inbetween, from one of Britain's best-loved comic writers - perfect for fans of Terry Pratchett or Douglas Adams.
Books by Tom Holt:
Walled Orchard Series
Goatsong
The Walled Orchard
J.W. Wells & Co. Series
The Portable Door
In Your Dreams
Earth, Air, Fire and Custard
You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps
The Better Mousetrap
May Contain Traces of Magic
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages
YouSpace Series
Doughnut
When It's A Jar
The Outsorcerer's Apprentice
The Good, the Bad and the Smug
Novels
Expecting Someone Taller
Who's Afraid of Beowulf
Flying Dutch
Ye Gods!
Overtime
Here Comes the Sun
Grailblazers
Faust Among Equals
Odds and Gods
Djinn Rummy
My Hero
Paint your Dragon
Open Sesame
Wish you Were Here
Alexander at World's End
Only Human
Snow White and the Seven Samurai
Olympiad
Valhalla
Nothing But Blue Skies
Falling Sideways
Little People
Song for Nero
Meadowland
Barking
Blonde Bombshell
The Management Style of the Supreme Beings
An Orc on the Wild Side
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