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Whale Done Parenting: How to Make Parenting a Positive Experience for You and Your Kids Paperback – 19 October 2009

by Jim Ballard (Author)

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“How is it they can get a killer whale to urinate on cue, and we can’t get our son to pee into the toilet?”

Amy Sheldrake, young mother and killer whale trainer-in-training, marvels at the complex behaviors her superiors at SeaWorld are able to coax out of these enormous beasts, while she and her husband struggle to make their beloved—and much smaller—son Josh obey the simplest rules. Using the story approach popularized by Ken Blanchard in his many bestsellers, this unique parenting book draws on the experiences of two of the coauthors—as both pioneering marine mammal trainers and as parents—to show how the same principles that induce killer whales to leap into the air can persuade young children to go quietly to bed.

Like Amy and her husband Matt, once you get the hang of the three Whale Done principles, you’ll see a dramatic difference in overcoming challenges like following bedtime routines, dealing with tantrums, introducing new foods, sharing, avoiding overuse of the word no, learning to care for a pet, and instituting time-outs.

Print length

176 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Berrett-Koehler Publishers
Publication date

19 October 2009
Dimensions

13.97 x 1.32 x 21.59 cm
ISBN-10

1605093483
ISBN-13

978-1605093482
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Product description

Review

“When we instituted a Whale Done-based program at Schaeffer Elementary we saw suspensions go down 95 percent, and math and reading proficiency improved dramatically. These principles work—kids really respond!”
—Cynthia Zurchin, Principal, Schaeffer Elementary School, Pittsburgh

“We long to be better parents who, with our kids, make a better world, and Whale Done Parenting helps us do just that. If you want to raise good kids and see more smiling and less scolding in your household, read this book!”
—Naomi Cramer Overton, President, Mothers of Preschoolers International

About the Author

Jim Ballard is an educator, corporate trainer, and writer.
Ken Blanchard is the author of several bestselling books, including the blockbuster international bestseller The One Minute Manager®. He is Chief Spiritual Officer of the Ken Blanchard Companies.
Thad Lacinak is founder and co-owner of a behavioral consulting company, Precision Behavior.
Chuck Tompkins is Corporate Curator of Zoological Operations for Busch Entertainment Corporation.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Redirecting Your Thinking about Parenting

AS A PARENT, have you ever had a child throw a tantrum or refuse to go to bed on time, eat good foods, or share toys? Do you find yourself scolding or yelling at your child and overusing the word no? Have you despaired of training your child to use the potty? Do you struggle with getting a child to do homework or chores? Do you deal with teasing, fighting, or poor manners? Do you need better methods for setting limits and handling time-outs and discipline?

Parenting can be trying. As challenges pile up, it’s easy for a mom or dad to get into a rut and become locked into a negative, downward spiral that makes the relationship unpleasant for both parent and child. At such times it’s difficult even to imagine that there might be a better way. But that better way is precisely what this book offers. Simply put, it’s a way to feel good as a parent—good about yourself, good about your relationship with your child, and good about life at home again.

Whale Done Parenting contains a formula that is positive and based on principles that are scientifically validated. Most important of all, it works! This is a book about bringing to the parenting of children the behavioral principles that have succeeded spectacularly in marine mammal training. The principle is a familiar one: Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative. It’s actually simple, but it is anything but easy.

Much of the book focuses on children up to the age of five, but later chapters explain how the same techniques can be applied to older children, including teenagers. Indeed, the Whale Done approach works with people of all ages because it is based on universal principles of behavioral science.

Most new parents model their approach on what their own parents did. In some cases this turns out okay; more often these parents perpetuate the negative aspects of parenting they remember. The results can be disastrous. The principles and techniques presented in Whale Done Parenting are taken not from memories of childhood or armchair speculation, but from solid behavioral science principles.

As we described in the first book, Whale Done!, modern marine mammal training is based on positive reinforcement. It wasn’t always so. In the early 1970s animal training was a different world. At that time, there was very little science in the approaches animal trainers used.

Animal training at that time was a male-dominated profession. In most cases, individual trainers forged their own styles and strategies with limited success and with limited attempt to cooperate or share ideas with their fellow trainers. Back then we weren’t purposely ignoring the science of operant conditioning—we simply didn’t know what operant conditioning was!

SeaWorld animal trainers began to think there must be a better way. They undertook a thorough examination of the field of behavioral science. The result was that Sea-World was instrumental in pioneering the reinforcement-based training now used throughout the world.

We were very limited with the kinds of reinforcement that we used. The use of one reinforcer—food—was limited in its ability to develop deep, lasting relationships with the animals. Gradually SeaWorld trainers—using a wide variety of things whales liked, to reward and reinforce desired behaviors—evolved stronger bonds that eventually allowed us to get in the water with the animals. This led to the spectacular performances you see from these animals today.

As Thad and Chuck were learning about training killer whales, Ken Blanchard was observing the negative effects of command-and-control leadership on people in organizations. Ken was suggesting that the key to developing people was to catch them doing something right. Serendipity brought Thad, Chuck, Ken, and Jim together, and the result was Whale Done! The Power of Positive Relationships.

Since its publication in 2003 Whale Done! not only has achieved extraordinary success, but it also has changed lives in the process. It’s a story of how a man established good relationships with his family and company by applying the same set of principles used by professionals to train killer whales. In the years since bringing out Whale Done! we have often been asked, “Can the principles featured in that book be applied to parenting young children?” It became very clear that a second book was needed that would provide a resounding yes to that query. Applying Whale Done training to children is a natural process. In fact, it’s much easier and more lasting than with adults.

Whale Done is much more than a set of techniques. It is an entire philosophy, one that is sorely needed in the world today. Simply stated, what we call Whale Done is a way of looking at people and seeing the best that is in them. Our hope is that this book will educate and inspire mothers, fathers, grandparents, and others who help raise children to look at their roles with new eyes. And we trust that as you read the story of Amy and Matt and their son Josh, you will recognize what you knew all along: there’s power in being positive.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Berrett-Koehler Publishers (19 October 2009)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 176 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1605093483
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1605093482
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1 g
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 13.97 x 1.32 x 21.59 cm
Country of Origin ‏ : ‎ USA

Best Sellers Rank: #601,191 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #15,772 in Family & Relationships

Customer Reviews:
41 ratings

About the author

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Ken Blanchard

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Few people have influenced the day-to-day management of people and companies more than Ken Blanchard. A prominent, sought-after author, speaker, and business consultant, Dr. Blanchard is universally characterized by his friends, colleagues, and clients as one of the most insightful, powerful, and compassionate individuals in business today. Ken is one of the most influential leadership experts in the world and is respected for his years of groundbreaking work in the fields of leadership and management.

Dr. Ken Blanchard is the cofounder and Chief Spiritual Officer of The Ken Blanchard Companies, an international management training and consulting firm that he and his wife, Margie Blanchard, began in 1979 in San Diego, California. In addition to being a renowned speaker and consultant, Ken also spends time as a visiting lecturer at his alma mater, Cornell University, where he is a trustee emeritus of the Board of Trustees.

Ken has received many awards and honors for his contributions in the fields of management, leadership, and speaking. The National Speakers Association awarded him its highest honor, the "Council of Peers Award of Excellence." He was inducted into the HRD Hall of Fame by Training magazine and Lakewood Conferences, and he received the Golden Gavel Award from Toastmasters International. Ken also received The Thought Leadership Award for continued support of work-related learning and performance by ISA--The Association of Learning Providers. Ken has been inducted into Amazon's Hall of Fame as one of the top 25 best-selling authors of all time. The business school at Grand Canyon University bears his name. In addition, Ken teaches students in the Master of Science in Executive Leadership Program at the University of San Diego.

Born in New Jersey and raised in New York, Ken received a master's degree from Colgate University, and a bachelor's and PhD from Cornell University. An avid golfer, Ken belongs to the Loch Lomond Golf Club in Scotland.

Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5

41 global ratings

5 star		67%
4 star		16%
3 star		9%
2 star		4%
1 star		4%

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Top reviews from India

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Abdus Mondal

Great Book for Happy Parenting..

Reviewed in India 🇮🇳 on 7 June 2020

Verified Purchase

A must read book for parents. This Book is well organised to guide, ‘how to be a better (best) parents’. The author tells about the parenting styles from his experience , techniques and methods in training the Killer Whales. In summary, to get best out of your child , win the trust first, reward them in any form on their good actions or achievements irrespective of their size or volume. Don’t focus on the faults or wrong doing every time , even don’t talk about it. Catch them when they are doing good and give a reward like ‘Say Well done my boy’, ‘Good Job!’, ‘Pat on shoulder’ or ‘a simple treat or outing, or offer him/her an ice cream’.

To build trust, you have to spend quality time with your child,you always have to create a win-win atmosphere. This approach works for me with my 4 years old daughter. Hope , it will work for you.

One person found this helpful

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Prachi

Best book for parenting

Reviewed in India 🇮🇳 on 3 February 2022

Verified Purchase

Happy that I read this book during my parenting journey. Highly recommended book.

Reviewed in India 🇮🇳 on 3 December 2018

Verified Purchase

Very good book. All parents should read it.

Reviewed in India 🇮🇳 on 5 October 2018

Verified Purchase

It’s ok

Reviewed in India 🇮🇳 on 26 September 2017

Verified Purchase

Excellent book. Must Read.

Reviewed in India 🇮🇳 on 27 February 2017

Verified Purchase

Must read for parents.

Helpful

Tj

Recieved the wrong book

Reviewed in India 🇮🇳 on 3 July 2019

Verified Purchase

Recieved the wrong book.

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Top reviews from other countries

Sunshinecoach

A positive and effective way to parent

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 22 January 2015

Verified Purchase

Absolutely fantastic book, I couldn't put it down. I was fascinated by the Seaworld story which drew me to the book but the lessons shared in this book are brilliant. A really positive and effect way of parenting.

Zack

Great book to read, i love it

Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on 2 December 2019

Verified Purchase

Great book to read, i love it

JC

Best parenting book I've read!

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on 15 December 2013

Verified Purchase

This book is amazing, especially for the scientific minded. My daughter is 2.5 now and this parenting technique has worked wonders. We don't even think about it anymore, it's second nature to us. Our parents don't understand how we do it, we rarely say no to our daughter, we offer alternatives instead (not that we give her everything she wants, not at all). This has really kept her from the "no" stage that all her friends are going through because it is not a word she hears a lot, we reserve it for urgent situations like if shes going for an outlet or the stove.

It's an interesting read and the theory is fantastic.

2 people found this helpful

Collette Martino

Not in love with this book

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on 18 January 2013

Verified Purchase

My son's elementary school is reading this via a parent group so I bought it. My kids are 7 and 9 so the early chapters were not relevant. I just get a little fatigued by the positive all the time approach - in the same way that I get tired of games where no one keeps score and everyone gets a trophy. Reward the minimum and go easy on consequences. That is just not reality so I can't back it up. I do agree that positive recognition has it's place it just can not be the only method. To be fair I did not read the entire book. I have read the first 5 chapters and have been underwhelmed by it.

2 people found this helpful

Rita Moeller

Grandma buys a book

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on 3 May 2019

Verified Purchase

Great book, quick read, easily relatable to real life. Pass it on when your done ( I will to my daughter)

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Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

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Ken Blanchard

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Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

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About the author

Ken Blanchard

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