Amazon.in:Customer reviews: Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

This book has valuable information however, I was turned off by the overselling of the book. I kept thinking to myself, "I bought the book for techniques I can use, not to be convinced to buy the book." Next, I was turned off by the fact that the link was merely another attempt to sell me on "Crucial Conversations". I was expecting to get videos based on the chapters I just read after I registered but that was not the case. Instead there are a bunch of videos of testimonials. Luckily, the book did provide food for thought. I did not find anything useful until Chapter 5. Some of the information will seem like common sense. My interpretation of the book is; do not take things personally, remain in control of your emotions, and be tactful. In the end, by not allowing the situation to control your emotions, you can get control of the conversation while being able to create a win win situation. I learned to also be more aware of myself as well, which, is critical in these types of situations. Sometimes we think other people are difficult when in actuality we are the difficult ones. If you are looking for another book to add to your communication library this is still a good book. Just be aware of the constant selling in the beginning of the book and don't waste your time with the website...it is of no use. A last thought, the book mentions that their technique works on all situations despite all the excuses people make. However, they fail to touch on people who use silence in response to just about everything. Not the "I am ignoring you silence", but the person with no emotion, that stares at you without a word. Then when you ask, "What do you think", their response is, "I don't know" or "ok". These are the individuals that seem to go along with everything but are passive aggressive. They do not complain, fight, or argue. I used the Crucial Conversation technique several times to discuss the person's lack of response and received nothing but emotionless silence. The silence is indicative of child who does not speak to anyone but goes about ones day like normal.

29 people found this helpful

If YOU'RE going to TEACH Conflict Resolution.... TRY This!!

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on 16 March 2017

Verified Purchase

Self-development books are ground breaking, enabling you to envision things differently.....

This book DOES NOT do that. It's more of a text book on how to breakdown an argument.....

The Text book on breaking down an conflicts sounds great??? Of course... but without any application there is NO RELEVANCE....

It's like learning calculus without knowing why/how to use it.

Then it just becomes just meaningless lessons that you've heard from your grandfather since you were 5.
"communicate with the other person"
"understand their side"
"find a win-win situation"

Complete with Simple Graphics, Flow Charts and Tables...... *the golden rule needs a graphic

So Easy and Easy SAID..... just as easy to tell people to calm down and don't get mad. .....Understandably it's "Crucial" to look at an argument OBJECTIVELY.

.....But the core and crux of why most arguments go awry, is personal, EMOTIONAL reasons.

......So a significant section on proper MINDSET to start and throughout an argument, would ENABLE a personal foundation, rather than expecting readers to view it as dry logical steps.

There is a BUNCH of Gold nuggets in there. One I liked was how people view the world through stories, so readers should do the same in communicating through them....

So, WHY DOESN'T the AUTHOR practice THIS in HIS OWN book to his READER. The book IS full of DRY examples and testaments, BUT as he mentioned it's not the same as going through a STORY, complete with description and underlying emotion behind it.

What COULD be a gripping, life-changing lesson, comes off as a DRY hard to absorb SEMINAR from your office's HR department.

It's awkward and inapplicable Addressing people's MOST VULNERABLE moments with a systematic LECTURE

15 people found this helpful

justin

Good advice, patronizing tone detracts from the advice, the tactics described are helpful as long as you execute them properly

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on 3 September 2015

Verified Purchase

Despite the highly patronizing intro, which I'd urge you to skip to avoid becoming extremely annoyed, the scenarios and tactics posed in this book really do provide you with some useful tools to manage difficult interactions in the workplace, or anywhere else.

Anyone who has worked with strong personalities in the past knows that for certain people, no amount of logic or common sense seems to get through to them. Whether they be upper management or co-workers, these personalities can not only disrupt company productivity, but your attempts to help them get on the right track can make YOU look just as bad! What's up with that?

The old saying "[certain types of] people drag you down to their level, and then beat you with experience" absolutely holds true. Trying to match people who are used to steamrolling others into pseudo-agreement will always lead to a losing situation, having the ability to shift the tone and focus of the conversation is crucial. This book will help you with your approach, but it's only as effective as you are at being aware that you are in a crucial conversation situation, and reacting accordingly.

Three stars purely due to the tone of this book, to patronizing/self-helpy for my liking, despite the advice being solid

12 people found this helpful

Savvy Shopper

Worth the read, but more of a reinforcement to known principles

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on 14 April 2020

Verified Purchase

Maybe my expectations were too high based on the 5 Star reviews, but I found that the book was more of a reinforcement of principles/approaches I have read/heard from other sources rather than breaking any new ground. I did find however that the content was worth the read and I liked the presentation of how the "layers" of a successful dialogue (saftety, mutual purpose, etc.) create the framework for a bi-lateral exchange. Bottom line is that if you can learn how to apply just 20% of the content in real time of a conversation (that's the key), you get a huge benefit from it.

One person found this helpful

Eric

Bom livro, mas um pouco repetitivo

Reviewed in Brazil 🇧🇷 on 5 December 2022

Verified Purchase

O Livro eh bem escrito, e bem estruturado. As ideias e ferramentas apresentadas sobre como lidar com conversas crucias são úteis e simples de aplicar no dia a dia . Meu único ponto que da metade para o fim do livro, uma vez que a técnica STATE é apresentada o livro fica um pouco repetitivo e cansativo.

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Michael Wazowski

“Audacious claims” of profound discoveries

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on 20 April 2019

Verified Purchase

This is a very useful book, lots of good advice how to handle those difficult but important conversations at work and in personal life. How to be assertive while keeping others comfortable, and making sure that communication has indeed happened. What I did not like is how the authors exaggerate their contribution. They claim profound discoveries while telling trivial things, well-covered in other sources - like how important it is to speak up and not let things accumulate, ahd how good communicators tend to be best performers. So you have to get through a lot of such ridiculous nonsense to get to the “meat” of the book.

Good book, although you may need more to “change your life” :)

2 people found this helpful

JAMES N HANCOCK

Well Written and of Value

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on 19 September 2019

Verified Purchase

This book was well written, sprinkled with humor and with some great takeaways. I think it was longer than necessary to convey it's message, and their formulas and mnemonics are pretty involved to be using during a tense situation... Let me see, can you wait a moment while I pull out my Crucial Conversations checklist? Key takeaway: Create safety for the other person. Where the book misses it is that most of this is done through nonverbal communication - a touch, a look, a tone of voice. It was still worth the read.

3 people found this helpful

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